Improving a Comic

Below are the before and after examples of the "First Day of School" Bitstrips assignment.

Before:

Things To Edit

Read Write Gold Article Brainstorm

Title

Chosen by you

Lead Sentence

·        a sentence that can include some of the information from the 5 W's and How.

·        Can sometimes be a question asked to the reader.

Examples

o       Do you have trouble with computers?

o       Do you think kids can teach other kids?
o         It was a busy day in the Jackman computer lab.

Or pick a lead sentence of your own

Almost all newspaper stories start answer these questions.

Who:  The students in 309, other students at Jackman.

What:

o       309 helped other students learn how to use Read and Write Gold

o       Read Write Gold a computer tool that helps you with word spelling, reading, collecting information and writing.

When:

o       Tuesday, May 1^st and Thursday May 10^th.

Where:  The Jackman School library.

Why

o       So they can learn about Read and Write Gold.

o       So they can use the computer to get help on their projects

o       Some kids don’t know how to use parts of the computer that well.

o       Room 309 was chosen to train other students because they have had the most experience with the program.

How:

o       First 309 practiced and learned the program.

o       Then we were chosen to be the trainers

o       Next, teachers in the school decided which kids needed to learn the program.

o       The students came to the library for the morning and were trained on Read Write Gold’s Crystal Ball writing feature, the Highlight collection feature and the Text-to-Speech feature.

Concluding Sentence (an interesting sentence that makes for a nice and relevant ending)

o      

Read Write Gold Activity: Highlighting Function

Read the article underneath.  Make sure you have Read Write Gold open

Highlight the main ideas in yellow.
Highlight quotations in blue.
Highlight words you don't understand in green.
Highlight things you thought were interesting, but not important, in pink.

At the end, click "collect highlights".

Banning “Best Friends” At School?

Some kids in London, England are being discouraged from having a best friend at school.

 Psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni, a specialist in children’s behaviour, told a London newspaper that some elementary teachers aren’t letting students have a best friend. Instead, they are urging children to play together in groups.

 The Sun newspaper reported that Russell Hobby, of the UK’s National Association of Head Teachers, said some schools there have best-friend bans.

 Teachers say the reason they do this is so kids don’t get hurt if they split up with their friend.

 But many people don’t agree with banning best friends. Some say that forbidding best friends can prevent kids from learning about the ups and downs of life. They say it’s better to learn at a young age that good things don’t always last and that people can get hurt—and that they will bounce back from disappointments.

 Others say that the emotional support that comes from a best friend is more important than worrying about a break-up.

 Maurene Atherton is an elementary school teacher and principal who has worked in Canada and China. She says friendships are very important for children.

 “Having a best buddy or friend assists a child in their self-confidence. Children are, however, encouraged to develop a circle of friends so that they are not solely dependent on one child.

 “But there is value in that certain friend that you can share (everything) with, and who knows all your secrets. I am sure many of us can relate and hold that special relationship in our hearts forever.”

 Sbuttoni said that the practice of banning best friends at school isn’t just in England. It also takes place in other countries.

Comparing Your Stories

Click Here to look at the stories

Some reminders:

1. This is not about popularity or what you personally like.  This is about looking through a story and seeing what is good and what needs improvement.
2. You may rate your own story.  You must rate everybody else's story.
3. Complete the activity quietly - no commentary needs to be made.

The "One More Day" Story

When you are writing your "One More Day" story, I will be looking for 3 things during the editing process.

1) Use of Adjectives and Adverbs

Remember that adjectives and adverbs help make your writing more interesting for the reader.  Adjectives are words that can describe a person, place, thing or feeling, while adverbs  are words that describe actions.

Adjectives Colour Sizes big, small, large, thin, thick, obese, skinny, mini, giant, sharp, teenie, medium, itsy-bitsy, fat, humongous, miniature, huge, microscopic  Shapes triangular, round, square, circular, rectangular Qualitiy good, bad, mediocre, ugly, flimsy, boring, fancy Personality/Feeling happy, sad, angry, depressed, mad, frustrated, confused, cool, peachy, disappointed, hot, shocked, cranky, clumsy, guilty, crazy, stupid, stressed, amused Ages new, young, old, brand-new, second-hand Sound related loud, noisy, quiet, silent, booming Touch related slippery, sticky, hot, rocky, rough Taste related juicy, sweet, peachy, hot, salty

Adverbs Adverbs describing HOW very, quite ,pretty ,really ,fast ,well ,hard , quickly , slowly ,carefully ,hardly , barely , mostly , almost, absolutely , together , alone Adverbs describing HOW OFTEN always , frequently , usually , sometimes , occasionally , seldom , rarely , never, normally,  regularly , every day , once in a while , once a week , twice a day , again

2) Exclamatory Text

Holy smokes!  Exclamatory text can make your work SO much more exciting!  Exclamatory text are short sentences, always ending with an exclamation mark, that ad expression to your story.  Use them!


Examples Include:
Yikes!  Amazing!  I was so (pick an adjective)!  Oh my goodness!  What!?!  No way!  That's so (adjective)!  Wait up!  What's up with that!?!  He won!!!  Winner!  You meanie!  Stop!  Pay attention!  Whoa!  Excuse me! 


You can use it to announce something (example:  Pizza!!!  Get your pizza!!!)


You can use it to put emphasis on a name (example:  Angelos!!!)


It could be used as an insult (example: Loser!)



3) Transitions

If your characters start in one place and then end up in another place with no explanation about how they got there, you're missing transitions.  It won't be enough to just say "Then I went to the park."  Use your 5 W questions to explain getting there!


Poor Transition: I played hockey at the park.  Then I went home.
Better Transition: I played hockey at the park.  I played for so long that it was dark outside when I finally walked home.
Best Transition: .  I played hockey in the park.  I was playing so hard and so long that I didn't even notice the time.  After I finally finished playing, I limped home, completely exhausted..

Predicting Pugdog

Below is the story known as "Pugdog".  Take a look at the various pictures and think about these questions.

1. What is this story about?  What pictures can you use as proof of this?
2. How will this story end?

At the end of the story, I want you to make a prediction based upon what the story is about.  There is a template on Bitstrips, as well as characters named "Mike, Doctor, Pugdog, The Poodle and The Lady"  Use ONLY these characters.  DO NOT CREATE ANY OTHER CHARACTERS!

Look at the Bitstrips assignment and fill it out.  Use the pictures to show how you think the story will end.