Comparing Your Stories

Click Here to look at the stories

Some reminders:

1. This is not about popularity or what you personally like.  This is about looking through a story and seeing what is good and what needs improvement.
2. You may rate your own story.  You must rate everybody else's story.
3. Complete the activity quietly - no commentary needs to be made.

The "One More Day" Story

When you are writing your "One More Day" story, I will be looking for 3 things during the editing process.

1) Use of Adjectives and Adverbs

Remember that adjectives and adverbs help make your writing more interesting for the reader.  Adjectives are words that can describe a person, place, thing or feeling, while adverbs  are words that describe actions.

Adjectives Colour Sizes big, small, large, thin, thick, obese, skinny, mini, giant, sharp, teenie, medium, itsy-bitsy, fat, humongous, miniature, huge, microscopic  Shapes triangular, round, square, circular, rectangular Qualitiy good, bad, mediocre, ugly, flimsy, boring, fancy Personality/Feeling happy, sad, angry, depressed, mad, frustrated, confused, cool, peachy, disappointed, hot, shocked, cranky, clumsy, guilty, crazy, stupid, stressed, amused Ages new, young, old, brand-new, second-hand Sound related loud, noisy, quiet, silent, booming Touch related slippery, sticky, hot, rocky, rough Taste related juicy, sweet, peachy, hot, salty

Adverbs Adverbs describing HOW very, quite ,pretty ,really ,fast ,well ,hard , quickly , slowly ,carefully ,hardly , barely , mostly , almost, absolutely , together , alone Adverbs describing HOW OFTEN always , frequently , usually , sometimes , occasionally , seldom , rarely , never, normally,  regularly , every day , once in a while , once a week , twice a day , again

2) Exclamatory Text

Holy smokes!  Exclamatory text can make your work SO much more exciting!  Exclamatory text are short sentences, always ending with an exclamation mark, that ad expression to your story.  Use them!


Examples Include:
Yikes!  Amazing!  I was so (pick an adjective)!  Oh my goodness!  What!?!  No way!  That's so (adjective)!  Wait up!  What's up with that!?!  He won!!!  Winner!  You meanie!  Stop!  Pay attention!  Whoa!  Excuse me! 


You can use it to announce something (example:  Pizza!!!  Get your pizza!!!)


You can use it to put emphasis on a name (example:  Angelos!!!)


It could be used as an insult (example: Loser!)



3) Transitions

If your characters start in one place and then end up in another place with no explanation about how they got there, you're missing transitions.  It won't be enough to just say "Then I went to the park."  Use your 5 W questions to explain getting there!


Poor Transition: I played hockey at the park.  Then I went home.
Better Transition: I played hockey at the park.  I played for so long that it was dark outside when I finally walked home.
Best Transition: .  I played hockey in the park.  I was playing so hard and so long that I didn't even notice the time.  After I finally finished playing, I limped home, completely exhausted..